Monday, July 12, 2010

Adventures in Automobiles

I am so behind on blogging. To make up for it, I have a hilarity inducing story.

Over the weekend of the 4th of July, Austin and I decided to hit up D.C. with some of our oldest friends. We had to wait until Saturday evening to leave for a few reasons.

  1. Our car inspections expired in June and we hadn't gotten them done yet (Whoops. Come on ya'll, I have been in Georgia for two years where no one cared about annual car inspections.)
  2. We had to pick up my pesky little sister from her ridiculously long globe trotting 30 day trip to Europe.

So, we got the car inspections done, picked up my pesky sis and were on our way. Please note that while the Civic failed inspection the Jeep passed with flying colors.

As we got such a late start we decided we would stop and grab some food so that our friends would not have to wait for us to arrive before eating. We stopped at a McDonald's in Dale City (Potomac Mills area). we loaded up with our Dollar Menu finds and headed back to the car - only for it to not start.

Clearly, this can't really be happening. We just had the car checked out this morning! Let's sit here and stay calm husband, and we will try it again.

Meanwhile husband is beginning to turn into the Incredible Hulk. (You won't like me when I'm angry...)

Austin chomps down his McDouble in approximately 2 bites, and tries again. Still no luck.

He swallows a fistful of fries, and his pride, and stomps across the parking lot to a man climbing into a very sporty Saab to ask for a jump. The man, being a nice and normal human being, of course agrees to try.

Fast forward twenty minutes while this poor man's nutritious meal is getting cold, we have had several failed attempts, and suddenly the engine turns over. Phew. Thank you so much, best of luck, happy 4th! etc etc.

Now, husband, knowing at least a normal amount for a man his age about car mechanics, knows that an alternator charges your car's battery. After such a lengthy jump attempt, we decide he had better sit in neutral with his foot on the gas for a bit to allow the alternator to work it's magic.

After 20 more minutes, we decide, we can probably let off the gas to shift into drive.

And it kills.

Insert photo of angry swearing husband I was too afraid to take at the time, but realllly wanted to, here. Oh, wait - I have a substitute.

Being the resourceful Girl Scout Gold Award winner that I am, I took a look at our surroundings. What is that I see over yonder? Is that a Kmart? Do those still exist? and since they clearly do since this one is staring back at me, do they sell car batteries? Please God.

We traipse down the hill to the Big K, well, I traipsed, repeating things like, We will totally laugh about this later, can't we just laugh about it now? and Austin stomped, on a mission, replying, This is not a laughing matter.

Ok, ok, geeze. We ran through the store, looking for the automotive section. I could have found it off the bat if it were a Target, or even if hard pressed in a Wal-Mart, but a Kmart? I am not familiar with this layout.

We finally found it and lo and behold they have car batteries. ThankyoubabyJesus.

After purchasing said battery and a wrench to install it with, we (read: Austin) carried that heavy thing back up the hill to the McDonald's parking lot. There, in the shadow of the Play Place neon lights, setting off minimal amounts of sparks, we installed our new car battery.

The car started right up, and we bought ice cream cones to celebrate.

In a strange twist of fate - I swear, you can't make this up - a young couple right across the parking lot was getting a jump as we left. We passed on word that K-Mart does indeed sell car batteries should they need one and suggested that ice cream would fix any residual feelings of distress.

As we pulled away from them and their good Samaritan, Austin started laughing.



The laugh at the end totally made it all worth it!

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